I feel that I need to make a point at the start of this post. That is , I do actually have a husband, who I love very much. He is a wonderful Dad and supports me with everything I do. There you go, done ; ) It was bought to my attention recently that apparently I write like a single mother. Disclaimer: I have in fact, NEVER said that. My husband works very hard and during the week is pretty much a blur. Apart from the time between getting up and leaving the house and the time between getting home and the kids going to bed. ( I have to be careful what I write here as I am sure “someone”will voice their opinion ; ) )
At the weekend he is family man which is wonderful. We all do what we have to do and I love him for it. I on the other hand, am doing more of a juggling act. Everyday it’s between kids, work, breathing etc hence the way I write.
We are not perfect
Life is a challenging adventure right! We all wish we could be perfect but we’re not. I know I am not. Far from it. I think we all have this illusion on a pedestal of what we all “should be”. It’s not reality. And those people on facebook and instagram (thats the “new “social media platform oh darling husband ; ) )that make it seem like they are doing it all whilst remaining poised and perfect are absolutely full of shit. IMHO. AND, may I add, if you want to then try and impose your perfect wonderful world on me don’t. You know truly where you can stick it. I could try and be all deep and meaningful right now as I feel many people are turning to, but you know what. That just isn’t me. Sorry, not sorry.
During the past month or two I have unfollowed more people than I care to remember on Facebook due to this. Not that facebook is by far an even remotely productive use of time anyway. Yes, I should step away, for dive business purposes I will stay on. To also keep in touch with old friends but otherwise at this point I am pretty much disengaged. I think of it as the platform you fondly keep in touch with your relatives on. Also spy on people that you are possibly slightly interested in but not enough to engage in a conversation with.
I suppose I could make a big “I am leaving facebook announcement” as many people do but that would then be the illusion that I would expect people to care, which quite frankly I don’t give a crap about anyway. And meanwhile where would I be without my weekly dose of ‘cat fail’ posts !
Back and teaching in the water
So, the past few weeks have been super busy. I was extremely lucky to be able to working full time over the past few weeks due to a PADI Divemaster program. It was with a local law enforcement agency so the guys were extremely disciplined, professional and an absolute joy to teach. I think it is one of the most intense programs I have had in recent years, but I came out of it NOT feeling like I had been run over by a bus. Win, win really.
They will all be excellent Divemasters and I know that some of them are looking at coming back to complete their instructor program in the future which will be even more fun I am sure. Hardest moment of the course, trying to teach them to fin backwards, which they have discovered is nigh on impossible in split fins (who invented those anyway?, and yes, I did own a pair MANY years ago). Funniest moment, watching them get competitive over who drew the best map. I especially liked the map with the little dive boat and captain waving on it but wasn’t going to admit it.
Whilst this was all going in I didn’t get as much time to spend at home, which inevitably led to the mum guilt. The ingrown guilt that you feel if you are not with your kids trying desperately to be supermum. I have learnt to ignore it most of the time. Partly because it is mentally healthier for me to ignore it and partly because wine does tend to muffle it out a little bit easier.
I still found time though to run around and pick up after them. To the point I could only stifle the laughter when my 18 month old was helping me to clean up. He very proudly came over and handed me a piece of what I can only assume is poo. Where it came from, I still have no idea. It leads me to think in a few weeks we will be hunting around for a “where does that smell come from” origin. It won’t matter too much if that happens as it will be my husband having to find it.
I leave the country in 1 week to head for England (fingers crossed). My flights have already been changed so many times, until I set foot on that plane, I will not believe we are going. Before anyone makes a comment about essential travel, yes it is. Getting a hug from my Mum and brother is essential to me. Also passing off my kids for lots of “Gan Gan’ and “Uncle Ben” time is extremely important too. We will be on quarantine for two weeks but I am pretty sure I could make the loft into a nifty hideaway. The kids can’t reach me up there. I think anyway they will be sufficiently entertained with the cats and dogs who I am sure, once they see the beds being made up will be running for cover.
So, i think the next adventure will be the plane trip. No I am not stressed about it. Teags loves airplanes and Greyson will “hopefully” be tired so will sleep. And anyway, what does stressing achieve? Nothing. The more calm I am, the more calm they are. (keep saying that over and over ; ) ) So England, I hopefully will be seeing you soon. And as I think of the upcoming 11 hour plane trip I remember “don’t run away from challenges, run over them!!!!”